Sitting in the driveway gathering my things after a full afternoon of bowling & grocery shopping with my crew after everyone else had bolted out of the car, I suddenly had a head right beside mine. Startled a bit, my eyes widened and a silly face came over me as I looked into this, my 8 year old girls face.
"Has anyone told you they loved you today, Momma?" She asked with a smirk. "Cause I love you a real whole lot you know." We side hugged and I thanked her for taking time to care and to ask me that wonderful question she's heard from me a hundred times cause I grew up hearing it from my Momma and still do from time to time.
We forget how much were teaching with our very lives sometimes, don't we? How much one learns from watching a life. And as we are in the throws of daily math & grammar & latin vocab and all the world around us is in back-to-school modes something in me wants to gather close all the Momma Bears out there and whisper some sweet reminders...to yes, care deeply about their childs education and being in an environment that fosters learning, new skills and concrete building blocks for adding, subtracting, reading and writing. For these tools are staples and empower greatly.
But, Momma Bears what if the time they spend with YOU is an even greater mark of their formation. And what if we are putting too much stock in our unique choice of education be it public, private or home? What if we are unknowingly asking the state, the sunday school teachers, the million and two extracurricular activities our American kids are offered to fill a void and shape a life that we ourselves need to take back some responsibility for? Yes, there is truth in the village raising the child and Lord knows we all want loving influencers in our kids lives.
But lately I see such exhaustion in Mamas eyes from all the running around and worry over the right activities & school pressures that I wonder if we all just need a reminder to slow down, to craft a slower pace with space for loving right here in our homes. For bedtime routines, for lingering dinner conversations, for rest together and time to play random crazy games and have tickle fights. Cause aren't they learning from our pace of life? Aren't they seeing what we value? And won't they pattern their lives and homes somewhat after the one they were raised in?
I am no parenting expert or phD status. All I have is my own story full of warts, tears and triumphs too. And lately, I see the little glimmers of silver among the rocks in my kids lives. And the effects of my choices to slow down, live more simply, put perimeters on when I check my phone, scale back their screen time greatly (to their disdain of course) are having great effects on their sweetness, on their joy and their budding selves. Their personhood.
And lately, it is in this my first daughter that I see it the most. She was born under water, the first baby I didn't know her sex before birth and whispered, "a real live Abby" when my husband said she's a girl. Cause all my baby dolls as a child got named Abby and tucked in sweet all lined up in our basement in Falling Creek. And now, I get to parent a real one and it is much harder than it was then. And she needs to talk way more than I have space for sometimes. But, I love seeing her blossom and know that young womanhood is just around the corner.
So last night when she tip toed out of bed and came to the kitchen where I was lost in mashing bananas for muffins and enjoying the quiet of the evening I said "Yes" to her ask to help me even though she needs her sleep and its a school night. (have I told you baking is therapy for me?)
She cracked eggs with no spills and stirred without getting tired and even poured them into the muffin tin. She is steadily getting better and more confident in baking with each time she does it. And I am seeing now that this time listening to, loving her, being with her is just as much 'school' as when she sits to do her math at 8:30am.
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