It was a Saturday of being fully home together, doing projects and playing, projects and more play. The rule around here this summer the professor decided is no screen time during the week, iPod for music only. Then on the weekends, between projects & outings the kids can play. It has worked well once we got past the assumption of playing all day if we are home all day. "Yes, you will still eat food and care for your animals and yes, there are still limits even tho it is summertime." Geeze louise, kids!
It seems this summer has ushered in a whole new chapter in my life as a parent. I feel the abrupt reality of no more toddlers in my bed, no more need to make each meal on weekends. There is a twinge of loss there and ache for another little Walters for sure. Yet, I feel certain my chapter to live with work in an orphanage loving/ serving babies and toddlers will come. One day. All in due time.
Mostly, tho this chapter I am still living into is pretty grand. For the first time in 12 years I can take my kids to the pool and read a magazine, like a whole article. Yes, eyes still have a clue where they are in the pool & YES I do jump in and still play some too! But.....I can have a full conversation with another person. And my kids make up fun games together. And laugh hard. And I sit, sip my smoothie, read, exhale. Oh my! Truly a new freedom for this Mama Bear. I love it!
All except for the few Mamas that have their Moms or Mother-in-laws by their side to share in the experience which leaves an ache in my heart and pit in my tummy cause thats not my reality.
This winter I made my 9 & 8 year old kids do a month of swim club in order to learn some strokes cause I think its a valuable skill. My oldest 12 year old was determined not to take a class and so he and I took turns swimming laps and playing with littlest girl in shallow end. By the last week, he was putting on fins and using hand paddles and Coach Cassie was complementing his strokes. Lydia began a four week private lesson with her sweet friend. Week 3 the girl started swimming by herself! Little fish.
Feburary turned to March and the kids wanted to sign up for the next session. We did and I am so glad. Friendships forged over this early evening rhythm of meeting in the pool. Schoolwork and chores were completed in a timely manner so we wouldn't be late. I planned supper & set the dinner table in the morning. Showering afterward got easier, the girls started remembering clean panties and boys their towels. And I loved the invitation to play in the water with my oldest and my youngest. Everyone in same room, getting exercise, being with others.
March turned into April and Coach Cassie decided to start her own swim team. Her expertise in the sport coupled with her love of children and gift of patiently relating to them make her one of the best coaches I've ever observed. A rare treasure indeed. To my surprise, all four desired to be on the team this summer.
And they surprised me too! They wanted to come in the morning because Coach Cassie said to bring your tennis shoes to do some running and strength training. And.....she brings doughnuts on Wednesday mornings. Oh my!
So this summer finds me with kids who are literally setting their alarms for 7am so they can wake in time to do their morning chores, eat breakfast, pack their swim bags and be in the car by 7:50. AM. All four of them ages 5, 8, 9 & 12. Monday through Thursday.
This is some of them on a Wednesday morning after doughnuts. They get to put their feet in the hot tub. Relax a bit before showering, chat it up, enjoy the coolness of the morning. And my overly health oriented, sometimes controlling self who wanted to change the rhythm to yogurt & fruit on Wednesdays has relaxed to see the joy of this magical treat after a hard workout with friends.
And I even bought the doughnuts last week. And my kids grinned large and loud with surprise and pure wonder over me, their Mother buying lots of doughnuts.
And this summer, I am learning to lean into different, into kids wanting to spread wings and try and embrace to new rhythms. I have even started swimming IM's and hytopsics. I swam in the lane beside my 12 year old last week and he coached me through what an IM was. I don't want to forget these days. Yes, my washing machine runs daily, I tire of the sun, I am food prep queen, I tire of messes and servanthood like all working Mamas do as I seem to be working 14 hour days lately. But the goodness and the richness exceeds the exhaustion of bone tired, teary afternoons. Always.
